I’ve been thinking a lot about the bad decisions I see people make, and even the bad decisions that I have made and I see a common pattern. First you have someone who is relatively uncertain, in a transition period of their life, and then they take the wrong advice.
In this video, I want to clarify how to spot bad advice so that you don’t wind up trudging down the wrong path for months or years. Here’s what I’ve learned
1. Only take advice from people who have the kind of life you desire – you’ll know because of what they’ve achieved, what the people who have followed their advice have achieved and what testing their recommendations proves.
2. When you have aspirations that no one around you has lived up to, you need to find a digital mentor. Get online, read a book, just find the person who has done it and study their path.
3. Develop a circle of friends who are supportive of your happiness, even if that means change. Cut the ones that only want you in status quo
4. Pick teachers that have strong morals. You can’t learn a skill set without also picking up a life philosophy, so be careful who you let in
Hope that helps you filter out the bad advice and move closer towards the kind of life you dream of 🙂
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Agree. Many loud serial losers, serial botlers are famous and making videos or giving advice about what to do and what not to do.
So you live in Brazil now?
I need advice, I finally have job but the things is they want me to do role that i say clearly i do not have experience or knowledge about it. Even though I accept the offer. Because I really need job right now !!
I can’t ignore the feeling that my work life and my own life is a mess. Wandering where I can win in this chapter of my life. Every things is goes to the opposite direction. 🙃
charlie should be a tooth paste model or mascot.
Aye, there is a plethora of information givers out there, and a lot of them absolutely have the best intentions, but I also can't help but believe their view is coming from a situation that has left them jaded, and pessimistic about the advice they are giving out, regardless if it is free or not.
That isn't to say that some of the so called "bad" advice out there is completely asinine, some of it is without a doubt coming from a place of experience. Life tends to be all about perspective. People notice things that you or I will never in a million years. This doesn't make them wrong, nor does it make you wrong, and yes perhaps it is naivety, or just foolheartedly believe in the good of people. Still a lot of the advice out there for the movements, be it a red pill movement, no man movement, a blm, or any other movement out there, they seem to be overwhelming negative surrounding their respective "field" some of the points in each and every single one of those movements absolutely bring up a extremely valid stance/point in their respective "field." – I certainly as hell do not know it all, and neither does anyone else in this world. No one is the end all be all know it all of any given subject, and we really do need to learn how to filter out the bad/negative advice from the good advice, regardless of the intentions of the presenter of advice.
Not listening to bad advice can’t be emphasized enough. I had a narcissistic set of parents: a stepfather, mother, and father who would say things like you mentioned your family and friends did about not being able to have your Brazil dream until age 65 when retired and with money.
I recommend people look up videos on narcissistic personality disorder because of how they love giving unwanted advice and force it in you.
My own stepfather said no one is allowed to be happy without earning at least $5,000 a month, having no debts, owns a car and a home, has full insurance, and a retirement fund. Even when I brought friends from my work in international development in NGOs both large and small to meet him and my mom, many who had coincidentally come in to the city my mother and stepfather were in to show what working for organizations like UNICEF or International Red Cross, the response of my stepfather was “You have so much talent you waste your time doing useless charity work and not earning enough money in a real job.” I need to note that neither NGO nor development work is charity work.
So please: besides this video, if you have people forcing bad advice, consider looking up videos on YouTube on narcissistic personality disorder. A lot of my problems in life came from emotional abuse and manipulative individuals not only forcing bad advice on me, but those who pretended to be interested in what I loved who either really wanted to control me (stepfather and mother, and also my father), or take advantage of me and not only cheat me out of thousands of dollars, but delay or outright kill my dreams that I wished I could achieve because I couldn’t believe in myself.
Just to hammer in how dangerous narcissistic individuals are and how hard it is to break from them when they force their advice on you: if I refused to follow my parents and their advice, I was a "bad son" and my manipulative mentors would call me a "bad student". These were people who include my father, who would steal my things and sell them for drugs, my mother, who would lie and cheat to people to get money by playing victim, my stepfather, who would throw his wealth around and abuse people because he felt he was a king, my roommate who borrowed thousands of dollars and told me who to be to avoid being like my parents, and my teacher who also tried to convince me to be better than my parents but instead give him all my money. When you can't tear away from these individuals because they won't let you go, it kills your joy to live.
Please listen to Charisma on Command because had I known of this channel in college or even high school, 90% of my personal problems with romance, friendship, work, money, and employment would never happen and I’d not be in a serious state of unhappiness. I say unhappiness because depression means I’ve given up. I’m not ready to give up, I just have to go through extra hoops later in life and still undo damage done by narcissistic individuals.
I hope one day to raise enough money to pay to take the courses for Charisma University and Emotional Mastery, at the very least for my own happiness.
1) only take advice from people living the life you want
1a) look where following their own advice has taken them
1b) find the people who followed their advice and see how they are doing
1c) Can you test the advice quickly
2) take advice from who have done it.
3) find friends who are supportive of your happiness, even if it means change.
4) pick influences with both a skillset and life philosophy you admire
😉
@7:13 Lmao… the honesty is Alpha AF tho
what if those people are really trying to protecting from a truly crazy idea… say be an astronaut at the age of 100 with no prior knowledge
3:20 was a good advise
King James Version
16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
Good points, however you've omissed situations where someone doesn't live the way you want and gives advice which is contrary to what they followed.
Something along lines of, "Don't make the same mistakes I did."
Probably shouldn't use "schizophrenic' as a metaphor
Thank You for making this video. It just made me feel better about myself and my current situation. :).
I am not sure about the first point because sometimes we might have the answer to something but we don't exactly know how to implement it ourselves, that is if we even want to implement it in our lives at all. That doesn't mean we should always seek advice from someone that does live the life we want, because what worked for them might simply not work for us, and it doesn't mean it has a bigger likelihood of succeeding either. We are all different and when someone wants advice from us all we can simply do is guess what's below the surface and try to get to see their point of view.
Hi Charlie! I’m enjoying your videos and your course so much and the end of this video was the first time I’ve heard something that was off for me. When you say “shame on you if you’re not trying, or get off the channel”, it sounds punishing and negative, some stuff about being a jerk that you actually talk about in this video 🤪 One of the thing that’s love about your content is that it’s positive and comes across as supportive. Except for the last bit in this one. I don’t think it’s necessary, and it was a turn off for me. Do I keep listening to your advise now?? 🙃💞
Remember when Peter Griffin's son couldn't get into a club for handsome people, so Peter said, "Well if he can't come in, then I'll just come in!"
I pray I get the chance to say it. It's just too funny. Then my assholishness would be complete and I'll stop forever!
My boyfriend constantly says he supports me in my dreams of going back to school and becoming a programmer but I have to constantly cook for him and clean up after him, his dog and another roommate, all while working a full time job. Listen to people's actions instead of their words. It's easy to say someone supports you, but doesn't actually mean it 🙁
To quote Penny Arcade: "I'm going on the Internet, to find people who agree with me!"
hey, 53yrs watch Charlie as you can always learn something, Love the break downs on communication,
Just in case you may listen to the naysayers
Short Story left my father's business in UK., worked on oil rigs, had enough cash flew to Orlando Florida traveled alone coast to coast (cause no one I knew was willing to take the risk or had the money) 2900 miles one way on the return journey in El Paso went South to Angel Falls in South America, returned to Mexico got put in jail for getting in a fight. Got out went home packed everything I had in a car drove to Germany from northern England, at the time I spoke two words of German, learned German to University-level in 6 months from "Ja und Nein" that's yes and no, was the first Brit to get into Marburg University, left cause I had learned enough of what I wanted, and they could just offer another 4 years of wasted time, got jobs in fortune 100-500 companies (apparently impossible without a degree). Worked 13 years working out of Germany traveling across the world having a company pay me to go there from France to China)
Believe me everyone at home in our village oh yes a village (200 people) thought I was mad.
You can always earn cash, memories can only be made once.
Charlie love the 10 X faster wished I had been that smart at your age, sometimes its the one idea that saves 1 million dollars for a company or your life 🙂 that is not a joke done "both of those"
So I will always keep listening and learning until they nail the lid shut. 🙂 and anyone that is thinking of doing something crazy when you are young do it.
Later just leaves regrets, I know I have seen my friends who did not get out, they just thought about it or thought they would do it later. It did not happen.
Amazing stuff
Lmao all my friends are dead
Thanks for this, it was an epiphany for me. I teach abroad and I often ask my best friend in the world for advice. She is super, super intelligent, and is a career counselor-I thought, the ideal person to help me. But my career is unlike anything in the states. I've always been a little frustrated with her advice because it's just general support, unconditional love, not concrete steps to take. You've made me realize I need to find someone who has done what I want to do and seek their help. And also I appreciate that my friends at home fit into what you describe as invested in my happiness, not invested in keeping our relationship the same. Thank you. Good talk. 😉
I really needed to hear this, their morality and philosophy doesn't align to mine so I let it go.
This video addresses exactly where I am right now.