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In this video essay, Chelsea dives into the realities of marriage for women, statistically speaking: how we’re sold an idea of an egalitarian partnership, and how that ultimately does not play out for many women — financially, or emotionally. Marrying the right partner can add so much to your life, but the wrong one can do exactly the opposite.
Special thanks to:
-Our guest Robyn
-Mel Hamlett: https://www.tiktok.com/@melhamlett?lang=en & https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRW66WXeQGNdV1NtyAIv0Cg
SOURCE LINKS:
https://www.britannica.com/topic/dowry
https://www.britannica.com/topic/coverture
https://www.fdic.gov/resources/supervision-and-examinations/consumer-compliance-examination-manual/documents/5/v-7-1.pdf
https://theweek.com/culture-life/men-women-housework-unequal
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/04/13/in-a-growing-share-of-u-s-marriages-husbands-and-wives-earn-about-the-same/
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/11/why-women-cant-put-down-the-vacuum/680714/
https://onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/equity-vs-equality/
https://donnafreedman.com/financial-planning-many-women-dont-care/#google_vignette
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2025-04-18/why-don-t-more-fathers-take-paternity-leave
https://qz.com/401236/even-couples-who-split-the-housework-end-up-unequal-once-a-baby-is-born
https://www.scarymommy.com/parenting/schools-call-mom-dad-research-study-emily-oster
https://www.northerntrust.com/united-states/institute/articles/financial-mistakes-women-make-during-the-divorce-process
CHAPTERS:
00:00:00 Intro
00:02:41 Ad Break
00:04:51 Intro
00:11:45 Chapter 1: A history of marriage as economic proposition
00:15:48 Chapter 2: When he’s not willing to meet you halfway
00:24:20 Chapter 3: The tyranny of the 50/50 warriors
00:34:01 Chapter 4: The “wife allowance” dynamic coming back into vogue
00:41:00 Chapter 5: Having kids (when things go from bad to worse)
00:50:59 Chapter 6: When you inevitably want a divorce from him
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This channel is so good that when the videos end i will often replay them ❤ Thanks for all the warmth and well needed advice Chelsea and team
I found out a friend from high school was getting divorced a couple years ago and told her “Congratulations” and to let me know when it was finalized and I would send her congratulations flowers. And when I heard that it her divorce was done, I did send her flowers.
Am not here to boast but as single mother your videos really inspired me. Am 38 and losing weight,clean from drugs and currently with $65,000 biweekly, I have rebuilt burned relationships most importantly with my daughters💗.
I have never had the sense men want children. They want to know their sperm works.
As a man who recently turned 30 and decided to start dating again, this is great perspective to learn. Lets me know im in a better place than the last time i was trying to make love work because none of this is a total paradigm shift and none of it makes me feel angry or defensive. Hell yeah
Come on let’s be honest most women cannot handle a man that doesn’t make as much as her …. She will start to look at him discussed ❤❤❤
Chelsea is usually right but I have to say this plainly from the male perspective. No one makes women get married or have kids or do the housework. Women love talking down to men about their living standards why? We still survive just fine. Your high standards are what create more work. The point of this is that everyone makes their bed. No one is holding a gun to your head.
Chelsea going on a side bar describing the bathroom was very much giving author 😂
Getting divorced was getting my life back! Days without the kiddo are bliss. I love my kid, but I had zero time for myself and lost myself. Financially better off now and way happier.
We love a new Chelsea video essay! Can't wait to watch despite being the exact opposite audience! I'm personally hoping for a 15 minute section on secret bank accounts hahah
Huzzah, a video I, a single hetero dude am in the minority of.
Good video, as a near innocent late bloomer, informative as I go into dating.
Just after the intro, I'm more invested in the content than ever 😆girl knows how to say fk off without saying fk off, she's gonna speak her views and she's not here for the non-constructive additives that don't even apply
Chelsea I know and i’m SCARED
Honestly missed a "mawwaige is what bwings us together today" intro segue
Great video to remind young women to be wary of who you marry (I don't mean to rhyme). I thought my grandparents had the perfect marriage until I found out recently that my grandfather had a gambling addiction. Apparently when my grandmother had a stroke, when she came to, she told my grandfather "I know what you've done". When it comes to money, especially, be very careful. I've been single my whole life and am in control of my own money. No children too. I think I'm much better off this way.
Why I will never live with a partner or mingle finances again.
As a divorced dad with 50/50 custody, who is very involved in my kids lives (and who was financially abused) its almost impossible to get the schools and doctors offices to contact me in addition to the kids mom. Its ridiculous. Great video and much appreciated.
43:59 I understand why this might be the case, but it is weird. I'm in Canada, and one of my coworkers had a son, and I remember thinking it was weird that he came back after the weekend and didn't take parental leave. He said it was because he couldn't afford to take the leave with the lower wages that the government would give him to replace his income (he had multiple kids). It was weird, though. Another couple of coworkers became dads, and they did take leave, and that was more normal.
48:13 as someone who worked in a school for 10 years, dads either did not pick up the phone or told me they were to busy to pick up their sick kid and told me to call mom. I think the only time a dad came to pick up their kid was if mom was out of town, they were single parenting, or pissed off and wanted to yell at someone.