Hi, I’m Ben Leichtling, president of Bullies Be Gone. We’re gonna talk about how to get the bullies gone from your life. Specifically, we’ll talk about how to stop covert, sneaky bullies and narcissistic, control freaks in personal relationships.

Overt bullies are easy to recognize; they’re loud, obnoxious, threatening and in your face.

Sneaky, stealthy bullies are harder to recognize. Seven warning signs of bullying controllers are that they think:

1. They know best about everything; just ask them. They point out all your mistakes and failings. Their absolute certainty seduces you. You become unsure of your own judgment and wisdom; eventually you give in to them.
2. They’re more important than you are. Your whole life should be devoted to their needs, their wants, their whims. Their desires, jealousies, issues and concerns (not yours) become the focus of all interactions. They’re entitled to get what they want.
3. Sometimes, their feelings get hurt so easily that you’re too polite or too afraid to upset them. Or they’ll commit suicide and it’ll be your fault.
4. Their sense of humor is correct. They can say whatever they want and you’re supposed to take it. They make nasty, vicious, demeaning, hurtful remarks. Then they laugh like it’s a joke. If you object, they say you’re too sensitive or they were kidding. Your feelings are stupid and not logical.
5. Everyone is a pawn in their game. You have value only so long as you can help them or you worship them. They’re selfish, arrogant and demanding. Anyone who doesn’t help or who gets in their way is an enemy. You’re afraid that if you disagree, they’ll strike back at you.
6. Their excuses should excuse them. Their reasons are enough to justify what they do. If you don’t agree, you simply don’t understand or you’re evil. Narcissists think their jealousy, anger and hatred, their retaliation and revenge, are not bad characteristics.
7. Their logic, reasoning and rules should rule. They’re allowed to do anything they want – to take what they want, to attack or to strike back in any way they want – but everyone else should be bound by their rules. If your feelings are hurt by what they’ve said or done, it’s your fault and your problem. They’re right and righteous. Everything is your fault. They’re great debaters or they simply talk so loud and long that eventually you give in. They think they don’t have anything to learn.

No matter what reasons they have, if they bully helpless people – like clerks and waiters –eventually they’ll start bullying you. Get rid of them now.

You’re never going to change them. They’re bullying, control-freaks. Can you talk a hungry wolf out of eating you because you’re a vegetarian? You’ll never be good enough for them. You can’t deserve or earn good behavior from a narcissistic, toxic, control freak.

Ignore your self-bullying; that little voice that doesn’t like you, that tells you that the narcissistic control-freak might be right or that you must rescue or save them. Trust your own gut. Don’t get sucked in, like you would into a black hole.

If we don’t stop bullies, they’ll think we’re easy prey. Like sharks, they’ll just go after us more.

Love has nothing to do with it. It doesn’t matter how much they say they love you. Their actions show how they love you.

What’s the price of tolerating bullies? Slow erosion of our souls!

Make something wonderful out of your remaining 20-30-40-50 years. Be the hero of the rest of your life. Take charge of your future by taking charge of yourself.

Of course, there are many complications depending on your situation. The best way to learn how: 1. To take power in your life, 2. To be the person you want to be, and 3. To have a rich, full, wonderful life is to hire me for personalized coaching and counseling.

So please call me at 1-877-8Bullies, that’s 1-877-8Bullies, so we can create a plan that will be effective in your specific situation.

Here is a video that discusses how to stop overt bullying at work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76YfNwlV2OM

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