Whatever You Do, Don’t Exercise!

You can’t turn left, right, move forward, in reverse, or perhaps simply stall nowadays without somebody informing you that you need to work out.

Whatever takes place, DON’T do it!

Individuals discuss the lots of advantages of workout, and undoubtedly, the list appears long, and it appears to touch practically every element of our lives. Let’s analyze this:

Boosts Energy: I can’t picture why anybody would wish to increase their energy level. As if the world isn’t currently too filled with caffeinated coffee and energy consume addicts, now we’re being informed to attempt to get MORE energy from workout.

Do not do it individuals! Simply attempt to make it through your uninteresting and long lives with hardly sufficient pep to obtain from point A to point B, and after that drag yourself home every night and plop down on the sofa for another brain-draining night in front of the television.

Reduces Your Risk for Heart Disease: Heart Disease ?!? Yeah right – this seems like a lot of medical professionals weren’t making adequate cash, so they created a basic term that would cover whatever from indigestion to breathing hard.

The reality that it eliminates more individuals in the United States than any other illness or condition integrated is unimportant. Keep consuming potato chips, hamburgers, and fried shrimp.

Cranks up Your Metabolism: What IS metabolic process anyhow? Everybody is speaking about it, however I do not see it around anywhere. If it’s so essential to have a quick metabolic process in order to burn bodyfat, would not somebody have developed a magic tablet or unique sauce that looked after this problem?

Stay up actually late consuming ice cream and cleaning it down with root beer. While your body turns each of those calories into bodyfat, you can capture an infommercial that makes sure to be offering “The Metabolism Master Blaster”!

Assists You Lose Weight: Oh sure – here is another example of mass hysteria. If workout is so proficient at making individuals drop weight, why is it that America is fatter today than it has ever been, although there is a fitness center on every corner?

Seriously, being fat HAS to be healthy, otherwise everybody would not be doing it! If they believe that individuals are genuinely worried about losing weight, go ask the owner of any quick food dining establishment.

Boosts Self-Esteem: This should be why anti-depressant drugs are so widespread in our society today. Half of our teens are on Valium, and the other half have ADD. Marital relationships are separating left and right over psychological disputes, and psychologists make money huge dollars to ensure individuals that they are “OK”.

Obese individuals should currently have terrific self-confidence, due to the fact that they are able to conceal in their homes passing away of bad health rather of feeling the requirement to go “be healthy” with the rest of the world.

In conclusion, I believe we have actually shown that there is a completely appropriate method to utilize reasoning to persuade ourselves that we do not require to work out. Let the members of the Health and Fitness market keep offering their products, assembling brand-new items and centers, and usually losing their lives away.

The rest people are clever and we will boycott this thing called “Exercise”. As our stomachs grow bigger, our behinds grow, and our clothing get smaller sized, we can take solace in the reality that we didn’t get swept up by that entire “Health Craze”!

Hey – pass the chocolate cake covered in caramel and whip cream! I desire a 3rd piece of that while my french fries deep-fry for another 5 minutes and I capture completion of some entirely impractical truth program!

The truth that it eliminates more individuals in the United States than any other illness or condition integrated is unimportant. Cranks up Your Metabolism: What IS metabolic process anyhow? If it’s so essential to have a quick metabolic process in order to burn off bodyfat, would not somebody have come up with a magic tablet or unique sauce that took care of this problem?

Boosts Self-Esteem: This should be why anti-depressant drugs are so widespread in our society today. Marital relationships are breaking up left and right over psychological disputes, and psychologists get paid huge dollars to guarantee individuals that they are “OK”.