How to Deal with Age Pressure & Social Clock ⏰

19 Replies to “How to Deal with Age Pressure & Social Clock ⏰”

1. Thank you! 🥰

2. Good morning my love. I will marry you right now. We will start a beautiful peaceful loving family together. When can I give you the ring???

3. Honestly I don’t want to have kids. If I get old alone then that’s what is it. I want to do everything I wanted to in my life without any distractions.

4. I will say as an artificial insemination/sperm donor baby of a mother over 40, don't make biological children some achievement you have to have to be fulfilled if you're going to wait. I felt like a purchased commodity for my mother's fulfillment and wish she'd just made the best out of mutual desire for a family by adopting rather than passing on the pain of not having a totally biologically related family on to a new life form. I think women can be mothers at any age, but desperation and FOMO and even entitlement in some cases don't lend themselves to great parenting. I think there's a point at which it's unreasonable for biological children to be a non-negotiable because biology doesn't always cooperate, and someone or something has to pay the price for the workarounds.

5. Thank you for making this video. I am totally feeling that age pressure. I turned 32 this year, and finally bought my house. This was a big milestone for me, but lately I've been thinking about okay now I need to find a bf, get married and possibly start a family; however, I had to take a step back. I realized that those things were never things I necessarily wanted, but seeing my friends/family starting families I felt a little pressure. My parents have never pressured me about this, and really raised me to focus on my own success and happiness yet I still feel societal pressure. This video was really great, and came at the perfect time. I don't want to rush into anything, so I will pause, reflect and enjoy my new home. 😊

6. Alieen thanks for this amazing video!! This is the right video for me. I always feel 'late' and feel like I should have done more in my life. I'm 28 and not accomplished my dream life. Looking back I overcame a few fears but still too focused on what I don't have and what I need to accomplish. I dream big like you!

7. I still don’t know what success means to me. My life got completely derailed almost 8 years with 2 back to back car accidents within 2 weeks of each other. Even though so much time has past I’m still struggling to accept the “new me”. Your life changes once you have chronic illness in your life and there’s no way to prepare for it either. My goals right now are to get help with my PTSD from those accidents, which may actually happen soon since I just got paired with a professional in my area. I try to celebrate and keep track of the daily wins since I can’t predict when my chronic health conditions will flip my day upside down. It’s all I can do right now and that’s okay.

8. I absolutely 100 per cent feel everything you say. I am 25 and I also feel this pressure from outside. Soon I'll start training again and I have the feeling that it's too late. My mum also expresses thoughts like "yes you still have time" but slowly you should get your life together, in the sense of in 2 – 3 years it wouldn't be bad if you had a child. But I'm only just finding myself, working on my body, etc. I don't know what to do. If I have a child in 2 years, why bother?

9. I don't feel pressured by the "biological clock" in terms of having kids because I've always wanted to adopt a baby. Plus I'm still trying to figure out my career and other family matters.

10. This could not have come at a better time! I’m 30 and recently graduated from university. Ever since I’ve returned home from living in Ireland for five months I’ve not been feeling well mentally. I live with my parents, I don’t have a job (yet) that matches my level of education and the current house market makes it impossible for someone alone to buy or rent. I’m really feeling the pressure, especially since many of my friends are settling down, getting married, etc. + I sometimes feel like I’m a bother to my parents even though they assure me I’m not. Thank you for reminding me that it is okay to do things at your own pace! I think I’m going to create a vision board that reflects what I want for my future

11. I am 42 relax girls 30 is so young 😋

12. I'm 22, almost 23. After getting my undergraduate degree three years ago, I decided to start again and study a completely new language. My friends are all graduating, and starting their first job and I feel like I'm so late on everything despite doing something that I truly enjoy. My boyfriend ghosted me this year and it was the first time I ever fell in love with someone, so it hurt a lot and I'm still not over it. 
    Tbh it has been one of the toughest years of my life with the pressure I've been experiencing, but I feel like it's slowly getting better. Listening to this video appeased my mind. It is a great reminder that we're all going at different paces, even though it's easy to forget that.
    Regarding the question of kids: I've been wanting to have children ever since I was young, I don't mind adopting them (been thinking about that for a while) but I'm starting to get more anxious about being able to meet "the one" and being able to live this dream of mine.
    Your videos are so relaxing and reassuring! I've been following you for years, you feel like an older sister helping a lot of us get through difficult times. Being able to read the different comments and see that we're all struggling with different things also helps a lot! Thank you so much Aileen!

13. This video is everything. I just wish my family understood this.

    Edit: This is why your channel is one of my favourite channels because you literally perfectly encapsulate and articulate all of my values and beliefs. There's not many people around me who think in this way (except my friends maybe) and I just feel like you've just been this life mentor ever since I was a teen just trying to figure out what life I want to lead and who I want to be ❤

14. You're like an elder sister ❤️

15. "Everything is going to be ok and has it's own timing"? I can't trust that. Life doesn't work out for everyone. Plenty of people have their lives ruined by mental or physical health. I would like to make things work out but I have tried my whole adult life and am frustrated

16. Aileen 💜

    First allow me to apologize for commenting on Twitter against pro choice. Believe me, it totally wasn't any personal attack on you, G-d forbid😨

    I've seen so much cruelty within my folks, like my friend who has now already 6 children, but was attacked by her younger sisters to go to "infertility" treatments (when she still had only 4 kids), because it's "supposed to be" that a married woman must have babies yearly..😱 And married women who didn't get pregnant being pitied as "not having a life"😭
    I'm not legally married yet, so would that mean I'm not even born?!😂

    Success as a person.. to me, is to be a good Orthodox Jew. BUT Judaism doesn't force females to be biological mothers!! Surprise, surprise✨ Doesn't force us to get married!! (The tricky part is, males ARE obligated to get married and try to have children, and there are no same gender marriages.. So volunteering females are definitely needed!)

    I'll share honestly.. Around 2010-2011, shortly before becoming Orthodox, I was forced to get a GYN exam 😿 People were eager to get me married.. They were wanting to make sure I was healthy enough to have biological kids.. I was torn.. I respected one of them, a certain woman so much, but I just couldn't get myself to look forward to what she/they were wanting "for" me.. I remember getting so angry, being ignored my true feelings, that I wished for the worst in my exam…. I THOUGHT IT WAS BETTER TO G-D FORBID DIE THAN TO TOLERATE THIS ☠️ I clearly recall the intense fear I felt, like Heaven heard my curse upon myself💣⏱️⌛.. Indeed, within 7 years, I was diagnosed with cancer😿 in a different place, but it was aggressive and scary 🙀💦

    Right now, I'm just totally open to anything (except, of course, G-d forbid being forced to have or not have children) 💝 My dream since I was 10 years old ! was to adopt children✨ And I have many children, grandchildren, nephews and nieces, and most of all siblings, whom I love as my own✨💖😭💖✨in addition to my biological parents!!✨💝 We're not really in control of who's born, lives long, or anything.. I know a woman who gave birth at 52, naturally, and even someone at 54 after she thought she went through menopause 😳 but.. My greatest success would be to KEEP PRAYING for my family's long, healthy lives..💝..no matter what G-d's initial plan was.. till G-d grants me my most important wish✨💖✨ Love is all we have 💝

17. You are right that there's no specific cut off to have kids but it's also true that after the age of 35, you are a higher risk of high-risk pregnancy and a risk your kid can be born with down syndrome. But I think it's all based on the woman's body and their health issues. Every woman needs to do their research on their family medical history too.

18. https://youtube.com/shorts/DHA-ad7ciHo?feature=share

19. I m 28 and I just finished my M. Phil and trying to get into my PhD. I also felt social pressure about earning as much as others or about marriage at this age. But I know what my goals are and as long as I envision myself in my best version, society's pressure won't affect me. I manifest to become a Professor and it will require hard work, persistence and patience, so I'm ready to give all for what I truly deserve.🌱🌻

Comments are closed.